• Bazigah Murad

وجودِ زن سے ہے تصویرِ کائنات میں رنگ

"There are too many women in this world ̶ none of them loved enough."

I started mapping out this content back in January amidst my mind all worked up and my body fidgeting to find a purpose in life. I was reading an endless number of books every day, managing school and work altogether, freaking out about potentially losing the heartfelt excerpt I had written for my mother last year on Mother’s Day (finding it nonetheless). In conclusion, I was overwhelmed. But still, somehow I was pleased with all the hustle.

Women are my most favorite subject. I, as a woman myself, can endorse that we are indeed complex, but we are also more than that. We are the softest creatures to ever exist. Nobody comes close. We not only love, but we also devote ourselves. We heed to the ones we hold close. But, I would rather you not mistake our compassion for weakness. We are just as resilient, if not more. I believe that modernity has failed us. It has failed to show the real, the unconventional, the most profound face of women. Because I have had the honor of growing under the influence of a handful of women. Most of them, exemplary.

First, I will talk about the most obvious one: my mother. She is a homemaker. In other words, she is the most selfless woman I have known. (Though after my Nani, but I will talk about her later). My mother is also strong. She contains in her the essence of warmth as of the first golden glimmer of the sun in the dusk and the firmness of a rooted mountain rock. She is a resilient woman, but it does not make me proud of her. It makes me sad. The hardships that made her this way are the hardships she did not deserve. I have lived my life watching her make countless sacrifices for us, her parents, my father, his parents. I have witnessed her give up her entire career under the inclination to raise her children under her supervision, nurturing us with the best of what the world has to offer. Maybe it was a choice. But it was a firm one. To this day, she stands determined to it, watching us grow into the individuals she aspires us to be. Although, she may feel a bit of resentment inside her heart as she watches her fellow mates achieve the milestones she could have very evidently earned herself. But in no way do I blame her. As a human, she deserves to feel this. She deserves to want to turn back time and do things differently. After all, between being the pillar of our family and the obedient daughter to her parents, she is a whole, separate person with separate goals and dreams.

My mother is not only a good mother, she is an even better friend, a remarkable ear to people, and a beautifully carved human. I have seen her do good and think good - even to the people who did not do right by her. She is a fighter. I watch her fight with her urge to rest every day, only to provide us indefinite comfort. She is everything I yearn to be. There’s no better teacher than a mother, they say. That stands true in my case. Because I learn so much from her. Every day of my life, I feel fortunate enough to have her lead the path I wish to walk.

One of the most admirable people in my life has been the mother of my mother. My sweet, sweet grandmother. The epitome of strength. Softer than the cotton clouds in the morning sky. Strangely, I see so much of her in me than I see of my mother. Unlike my mother, she has been a working woman all her life until she retired. She never stopped pursuing writing as a hobby and ended up writing two awe-inspiring books in between the huge number of columns she wrote throughout her life. It makes me proud to be of her blood. She, just like my mother, has faced a handsome amount of challenges in her life and has stood firm through all of them. Instead of fighting back the world for being cruel, she made it bend to her will with her compassion. She is kind-hearted, the most generous being I have ever come across. She is humble, forgiving, and everything I aspire to be. Being with her has taught me to be kinder every day. Kinder than the day before. Her being kind does not make her weak. Instead, it makes her profound. And enduring. With the way she lives every day, she teaches more than she intends to. She is full of love – selflessly giving it to whoever needs it. She makes our lives and the world a better place to be. Her influence on us is ever-lasting.

Every friend that I made throughout my life, every teacher that I have had the honor to learn from, every lady I have interacted with on the bus stop, every woman I have ever come across, has shown me, in one way or the other, that being a woman is anything but easy. But we keep on being one. Everyday. Sometimes against our wills. When a man decides to take a day off from work, it affects almost nobody. But there is no “take a break” for a woman. Because if she does so, chaos might break loose from every corner of the world. Not only do we drive our homes, we drive the system. A woman makes the world brighter, finer, and more acceptable. It is she who adds beauty to the dark spaces of the world.

May this women’s day be different. May this day be the day we learn to love ourselves more than we love the idea of sacrifice. May this day be the one when we finally let go of the inherent notion to keep ourselves second. May, on this day, we learn to become self-sufficient without having to fear hurting a man’s ego. May, on this day, every woman be free, just like she deserves to be. May it be on this day that every woman becomes the best version of herself. May this day be the day everything changes for good.

Juggling between life and university, I like to consider myself an aspiring writer, striving to find a place among the list of notable writers in Pakistan. Being an avid reader and starting my journey as a writer at the age of 12 with short rhyming poems just for the fun of it, I now contribute regularly to several teenage magazines, run an online lifestyle blog, and occasionally write stories inspired by real-life events - Bazigah Murad

126 views0 comments