Aliya turned 15 today. She was sitting on her bed and cleaning her room as per her routine. She took a deep breath and finally gave in to the annoying feeling. Furthermore, she was feeling lost. Not only that, but she did not know about what. For a long time, she asked herself, Who is it I am fighting? To be honest, she did not want to admit that for a time being she was her worst enemy; Looking at her flaws, examining them under a microscope - The outer and the inner ones. Ironic it was, she could hide the outer flaws with her bright smile. But the inner flaws, that, she did not speak off. For example, take her homecoming party. She felt a strong void almost the whole time. But as soon as someone said, “Oh Aliya, you look beautiful.” Only then, she believed she was beautiful. Only then, when someone said those words. Then, she felt valid enough. There was one more thing; she was hiding from herself. When she compared herself to every other living soul. When she pushed herself to an extent, even though she knew her body couldn't go. She was breaking, slowly but surely. However, what she did not know is that she was fueling the fire in her that was already angry.
Aliya turned 20 today. She was messed up. That lost feeling she had admitted to herself 5 years ago. By now it was killing her. Slowly but surely. But Poor Aliya, how can she fix something that does not even have a name. While she walked to her friend’s house. She stopped at a library and saw a book on the library shelf. It was called “Who will cry, when I die?” by Robin Sharman. She picked it up and dived into another world. And this is where her journey began. From there, it was one article after another. One ted video and series of humans who spoke about their experience. Her eyes, for the first time, opened. Learning was always around her. But for the first time, she was understanding the surrounding learning. Many people were just like her, feeling insecure on lonely nights. Many people were breaking themselves until someone patched validation to their side. The jealous fire was burning not only trees but souls. She was not alone. And if others could learn to improve themselves. Aliya after so much learning could finally identify those monsters. She accepted that yes, she was not the perfect girl, that she flawlessly showed to the world. Furthermore, she had sides that were ugly monsters. But you see, Aliya did not accept those monsters. She made it her core mission to demolish the place in her heart where those monsters have been living. Clean it, water it, and make it a place where instead of ugly ruthless monsters, Her flowers would be growing.
Aliya turned 50 today. You must be thinking that Aliya is finally doing well. However, this is not true.
This is the part of the story which gets shoved under the rug. But she chose to share it with you. While on her mission of growing this garden or redefining her inner building. She could not help but face the truth. While she was cleaning her mess, she finally saw what those ugly monsters looked like. They were scary and disgusting, indeed. She could not believe it for a while. That monsters like jealousy, insecurities, and Validation in so many variations were living in her for such a long time. Worse, she fed on those things that were internally killing herself. Things went worse down the whole when those monsters fought back with her When she saw herself making some same mistakes again. Wanting, dreading, and fighting to grow. None of this was easy, it will take a lot of time, she said to herself. Paths will keep on getting exchanged. At times, she feels she is just right there. At the destination of being her