Pyar Dosti Nahi Hai - By Umamah Asif

Updated: Aug 15, 2021

In 1998, the movie Kuch Kuch Hota Hain; an iconic Bollywood film was released. It taught us one lesson that is still standing strong “Pyaar Dosti Hai".

Even though the movie was released in 1998, this ideology still lasts today. From the many books with the friends to lovers trope to the many shows such as icarly which at several points showed best friends having attraction towards each other and falling in love with each other.

Now it is no surprise that friendship between opposite genders is still scrutinized in today's desi society. There are two opinions to this. Firstly, most people assume that two opposite genders that are in a friendship are bound to be in a relationship soon enough. The second narrative is when two people that go from being friends to lovers are criticized and ridiculed.

First of all, when a guy and a girl are friends, there is almost always someone, may it be family or friends, who will comment and ask if the two are dating and/or like each other. Not to mention the times when even school authorities judge and make assumptions about guys and girls who are good friends and spend time together and that isn't even all of it.

Don't even get me started on two opposite-gender best friends who may or may not know each other for a long time. Opposite gender best friends are almost always somehow expected to either end up in a relationship or for one of them to secretly like the other. This is a stereotype that is always subconsciously evident around the platonic relationship.

Now let me just back that argument up with my personal experience. Not going to name anyone, but I have this close friend who we are going to call person A and in all my 3 years of middle school, he and I were best friends. even though we saw each other as best friends and almost had a sibling dynamic, most people assumed we were in a relationship or liked each other and even when we cleared it up that there is nothing like that and we are just friends, nobody ever believed it and even after he had moved schools, the rumour that we were in a relationship somehow survived and that isn't the only case of best friends turned lovers rumours that I have had to face. It is happening to me to this day and I know it will also happen later in life.

But why do we always assume that two opposite gender people in a friendship have to date or have to like each other romantically?

Let's all face it. We have all assumed things about friends and maybe even shipped them but not all friendships end in love. I am not saying that opposite-gender friends can't end up liking each other or end up in a relationship, but not all of them will.

Some friendships are filled with love, but they are completely platonic. We need to realize that opposite-gender friends can be friends for life and never fall in love, but love and support each other as friends. They might have fights or adapt to each other and know each other better than anybody else. They might know each other's best habits and worst, but those are the dynamics of a relationship, even a platonic one.

Friendships are a part of our life and they are ever-changing. We as people and society need to realize that friendships are just another form of love and bonding.

When I talk about myself, let me tell you, I love my friends dearly and that includes my close guy friends. I have feelings for them; feelings of bonding and love, and even a sibling dynamic. To me, my guy friends are my advisors, my allies, my therapists, my brothers, and more. They hold importance in my life.

Hey Rahul, Har Dosti Pyar Nahi Hoti.

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