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Raising Children Right - Maryam Salman

“You cannot raise your children the way your parents raised you, because your parents raised you for a world that no longer exists.”


Everyone desires a child that is kind, confident, brave and a successful human being in general, but are we paying enough attention to our child's upbringing? Are we living up to the needs of a modern parent? The term ‘Modern Parent’ is often misinterpreted by many. Some people may believe that it means allowing a kid to practice anything they like. Well, if you think that, you are highly mistaken! This term refers to a parent that makes perfect use of all the modern technology to recruit their youngsters in a manner that perfectly blends in with today's world.


The best gift we can pass on to our offspring is their proper upbringing. Children are like treasures; they are the ones who can either fix the world or break it, which is why the upbringing of a person is the most important phase of life. It is the stage where human beings start to recognize the world, and it is thus important that they learn the right way to live here.


At the primeval stages of life, parents often dismiss their children's unacceptable behaviour as childish. Parents of today's era should understand that at that very innocent age, they sow the seeds of misconduct. The first seven years of their child’s lives are the most influential, yet are considered the least important. Children are affected the most by their surroundings, particularly their parents.


In communities like Pakistan, there are clearly defined boundaries of raising a boy and a girl differently. Unwittingly, we teach them gender segregation at a very tender age when they are unaware of their own individuality. You may have heard mothers saying to their children “Boys don't cry”. Statements like these sow the seeds of hatred for the other gender. Boys are often given toys like cars and other construction items while girls are engaged in kitchen sets and dolls. At that age, youngsters acquire a defined idea of the Dos and Don'ts in life. These boys grow up to become men that find it ridiculous to work alongside the women of the family. Helping your wife is considered a stigma these days and the men who do so are degraded and called names like 'simps'.


Bringing up a child in the right way means that you produce a whole generation that follows the right path. We often criticize lads roaming around wasting time, but we ignore the cause behind it. Their upbringing is what needs to be changed.


Many parents ignore their children in their early childhood, and these toddlers are often left with the maidens and servants and all of these acts of negligence reflect the personality of the children later in their lives.


Speaking about the desi community, the parents, in general, are reluctant to adopt the advanced aspects of parenting. They fail to interpret the importance of many aspects in their child’s life and dismiss them by saying “Hamare zamane main bhi nahi tha, hum kya mar gye?”{“We did not have these resources, but we did not die without them, did we?”} The parents completely fail to realize the demands of their children, completely shattering their hearts and causing them to lose their confidence.


Parents usually tell their children that they are their best friend(s), but a great majority does not retain their word. Minors are often given a shut-up call when they ask their parents about sensitive issues. Parents are the ones who can save their children from deviating from the right path by giving them the proper information about every aspect of life. The children who are not provided with the right information tend to make the internet their source of information and are often misled.


This lack of proper attention leads to unnatural behaviors, which are later termed as violent. The inherent lack of knowledge has dire consequences which influences the mindset of the whole community, not just an individual.


Raising a child requires a lot of time and attention put into work; especially in the early years of a child. One can either make a generation better, or worse, just by raising them right or wrong.


Your child, your choice.


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