Updated: Jun 17
May 23, 2022
To a friend long lost,
I remember a hot afternoon and construction sounds at the cafeteria. I remember you subtly brushing your hand against mine and smiling. I remember every bit of you sitting there, telling me about yourself and your interests and I kept dwelling on it till I could no more.
I remember the quick hug in the classroom at the start of the corridor. I remember passing over the note to you that said, "You're my happy place."
I remember you trying to suppress your smile cause you still wanted me to think you were upset.
I remember walking along the lengths of the courtyard as you tightened my water bottle cap and handed it over.
"You need anything else?"
Your gaze, your company, your shadow of comfort were enough to make my whole life, leave a day. I smiled as I skipped over an autumn leaf, "yes, you".
And now, I remember "you" or perhaps "us".
I hate you for doing this to me, for doing this to us.
Even after the dark days we saw, I managed to cripple through the cracks of your closed doors. People asked me why I would do that to myself, and I would always reply with the same tone, the same meaning, just different words, "I still see some light for us".
But how do I bring myself to believe that you're gone and that we are nothing but mere memories for each other? You were right when you said that no one stays. Perhaps that was the only truth you ever said to me, and you proved it.
Now I see you sitting across the ground in your car seeing all of us laugh together, and somewhere deep inside I wish you were there and I know you do too, but it can't be now, as I pen down this letter to a friend long lost and a love buried deep down.
A friend who wanted to stay
Author: Raahima Waseem Baig
Find the author on Instagram @raahimawaseem