Life is like a book, where not every chapter is meant to be loud, but some pages are worth reading with others. So, let’s get back to 2012, when I started my journey at university as a student. The day that changed me, shaped me, and made me the person to face the world. That day, I began my journey to meet my true self, unknowingly. 

The night before, random thoughts were coming to mind about my first day at university. What if my first day at university is a disaster? How will I make friends? What if I can’t find my class? What if I can’t align myself with the university environment? All these questions were stressing me out. I tried to sleep, but the whole night went by tossing and turning. After spending the whole night thinking about all the what-ifs, the night turned into day with little sleep, and soon it was time to get ready. I got ready and moved my steps towards my career path.

I remember, as I stepped into the gate, my palms were sweaty and my heart was racing. With every step I took, my feelings were changing. Fear, happiness, doubt, excitement, and peace were holding me at once, and these mixed feelings made me very nervous. I was fixing my hijab frequently, distracting myself from the anxiety of stepping into a new chapter of my life. I felt quite out of place as everyone I encountered was very calm and in a rush to get to their class. They didn’t look like they were experiencing turmoil of emotions, like I was. I had tears forming in my eyes as I felt alone in my struggle.

I struggled to put on a brave face as I tried to navigate through the campus, which seemed like a puzzle to me. Every corner looked the same, and I couldn’t figure out where to go. Stepping into the wrong class felt like I was committing a crime. After spending an hour struggling to find my class, I got mad and frustrated. All this overwhelmed me and made me cry, making my throat dry, and I was hoping no one could notice my panicked face in the crowd.  I felt like I could not do this, and decided to go back home.. I mean, how vulnerable I was! All my excitement vanished in that one hour I had imagined for years. This is life!

That day, I realised that expectations often lead to heartbreak. I felt shattered, shy, and hopeless. However, the university changed me a lot with its mixture of best and worst experiences.

Even though I was shy and not very social,  I had a list of expectations running through my head.  The picture I had in my head was very unrealistic. I assumed that the university would have big walls, a high-decor campus, and aesthetically appealing departments with a giant canteen where various cuisines would be served. The list isn’t complete here. I was expecting proper football grounds, girls' common rooms, and an extended library where any book would be available, even about black magic. Sounds funny, right? I know, but as I stepped into the university, all my expectations went up in smoke, because there was an average building with a canteen that served regional specialties. As I reached inside, I only found cracked paint on the walls, a small common room full of girls, and no grounds at all.

This was the basic expectation that vanished, but I didn’t realise this was the beginning. Many other expectations fell through later on. The most heartfelt moment I experienced was when I realized that relationships are much more complicated in university. I tried to talk to strangers and kept telling myself to speak, but my words refused to come out of my mouth. I experienced that not everyone is your friend, and even your best friends can betray you. This is not a school where friends are simple and easy to understand. Friendships change over time, and that’s okay. It’s a part of life, nothing to be upset about. I learned that it will take time to understand your true friends, you have to earn their trust,  and make an effort for them. Relationships take time to grow. Not every person can be your good friend, and not every person can match your personality. In short, you are not meant to be everyone’s friend. I was under the impression that I would make friends instantly, but I was mistaken.

University is a place to grow, not just your career, but your personality as well. It nurtures students, their thoughts, their self-doubts, and bursts the bubble of illogical expectations, like the ones I had. I had watched movies and fantasized that university life would be full of glamour, but I was wrong. For young people in university, comfort is the top priority. I found people chose to wear relaxed clothes for running to class. They preferred to wear and style according to the weather. It’s often hard to bear heavy makeup in sweltering heat. And logically, all of this made sense.

Teenage life is all about dreams, but when we enter practical life, life gets very chaotic, and ends up giving meaning to everything. What movies tell us about university is that it’s all about having a social life, and having fun is the most important thing. However, university is not meant for this purpose; we need to meet new people, make friends, and have fun, but without compromising on academics. Balance is key. I learned the importance of this fact at university.

But as time went on, things started turning in my favor, and all my struggles made me strong and confident. This campus became my favorite place to visit every day. I made a group of friends and we started enjoying and laughing together in the same canteen where I was alone on my first day. My circle of friends taught me essential social skills that I didn't know I needed.. Now, I wanted to be noticed by everyone when I delivered my speeches in front of the campus. My fear faded, and my words flowed without any hesitation. I felt confident even when I had to face a problem on my own. In recent days of university, these realities hit me hard, and I think about when this chapter of my life will close.

The most important lesson I learned from my time in university is that even when some beginnings are not magical and full of hardship, they still take you to a beautiful place, where you belong. I wonder if everything was according to my imagination? How would I have grown? I needed to step out of my comfort zone to become the person I am today.  Struggle is a part of life, and every difficulty shapes us. Upon which we laugh till we die. I now look back and see that scared girl, and think, finally, she found her voice. This is my story. It completely changed me and taught me that life is unpredictable. The only way to navigate through it is to grow with time and have patience. We need to expect that things will not always go our way, and that’s okay, because our struggles are what will shape our personality.