"اس دفعہ میں سال کے شروع سے ہی پڑھنا شروع کروں گا۔"

This sentiment rings in the mind of every student, at the beginning of a new school session as if on cue, when one’s hopes are the highest and have yet to be worn down by the burden of coursework. The post-holiday joy lingers in the air and so do the memes about how “this is going to be my year.” 

The commencement of the new school year calls for “the signature” annual stationery haul, hitting the bookstores for textbooks and copies for each subject, and also the plastic sheets for covering them. I sometimes reminisce about how we’d be scouring the shops with our father for that one textbook that hadn’t come in print yet. There would be crowds in the shops, mothers holding their kids firmly while they pressed new uniforms to their backs and eventually beckoning the shopkeepers with the familiar phrase, “بھائی، ایک سائز اور بڑا دکھائیں۔” while the kids squirmed and protested that this uniform fit just fine, not knowing how fast they’d grow out of it.

The morning we bought our textbooks, my sister and I would spend the whole day in our room poring over them as if we were in the midst of discovering the secrets of the universe itself. This would be the most attention I’d give those books throughout the entire year. After engraving our names and classes on each book, my mom would help us bind the books. It was a fun ritual, preparing the bags, cleaning out the lunch boxes for school, and never forgetting that one trusty thermos that would meet the hydration needs of the entire class.

Once you get older, you may outgrow those rituals but the excitement of new beginnings never really fades away rather becomes infused with zeal and vigor for what’s to come merely due to the potential it holds. A new year breeds opportunity for a fresh start, whether you're gearing up for academic achievement or getting ready to try your hand at a new sport or hobby. 

Furthermore, the enthusiasm surrounding new beginnings skyrockets when you’re starting the year at a completely new school, because you’ve literally been given a blank slate to work with.

My childhood and teens consisted of many blank slates; every two years, we'd pack up our little place, we  kids would bring out the big trunk to put our books in, and then the stuffed animals went right on top. It was a ritual military families are well used to. A new place meant we got to set up house again, join a new school, and make new friends.

As a child you get used to moving, settling, rinse and repeat, because the moments are fleeting enough and the nostalgia hasn’t set in yet. But I distinctly remember being near tears on my first day in the new 8th grade because I missed my old friends terribly. Of course, life was never static, new friends were made, and old ones kept in touch.

The prospect of new ventures upon joining a new school overrides the initial dread of being the new kid. It is also the springboard to the fantasy of crafting a whole new persona better known as the saying “New Year, New Me.”. But what does it actually mean? The person you carry into the next year is still undoubtedly you, albeit a little older, with tons more insight and a gradually increasing understanding of the world. But no one can create a new personality, a better self overnight because that process is constant and ever-happening, accurate and authentic results can only be observed over a consistent period of time.

Usually, when people talk about this narrative, they couple it with glow-up videos and back-to-school supplies hauls, which really fuels the aesthetics of it all. But rarely do people shed light on how introspective the statement itself is.

Perhaps you’ve been a shy kid for a long time, and you want to give extroversion a try. For that, you’ll need to step out of your comfort zone; it might be a little strange at first because you’re not used to taking up that kind of vocal space, but tread the grass and the path will gradually appear from your own footsteps. As real as it gets, there are no overnight changes in life, not like you see in the movies. Confidence, being present, and amicability are traits that are structured by relentlessly showing up to the same situation, time and time again despite its inconvenience.

Similarly, you cannot wake up at 5am one day, and tell yourself I’m a morning person now. Mainly because some of these traits have nothing to do with personality but depend on habits and lifestyle. Your life is not set in stone and neither is your personality. You have to know that each new positive habit you wish to acquire comes with the price of doing it every day until it becomes ingrained into your mind. Most people give up learning a new language, or a musical instrument because of the initial discomfort that comes with the learning curve. They feel out of place in a community of experts, their hands may feel too amateur but mostly, it is because they’re inclined towards seeking stability and familiarity.

It’s the same way for studying habits. Once our initial boost dies out, we may revert to our old ways, and it can be quite demotivating to watch yourself slipping into the same patterns that you vowed, at the beginning of the school year, you would not repeat.

The first thing to understand about “New School, New Me” is that you don’t need to be this perfect embodiment of yourself, but rather allow yourself to exist. The theoretical aspects of growing up, becoming more outgoing through manifestation are important but unless you put yourself through the nitty-gritty reality of practical growth, it won’t be particularly useful to you. Perfection is but an illusion that robs you of living and appreciating the present moment. You truly are inventing yourself anew every day, not just on the first day of a new school year. It’s an uphill journey regardless of where you think you stand. Your unique experiences shape your worldview each day, life itself is the journey and the destination is a place where you can look back in pride and say, “I did that. I really did.”

The challenges you face are not roadblocks but rather cryptic signposts to take your bearings and reevaluate your methods before rallying onward. Perhaps the path changes, maybe you figure out an easier way to do it. Rome was not built in a single day, and neither is your success. What a relief there is no permanent state of self to cling to or bind yourself in.

When adopting a new mindset, not every day will go as you planned. Some days will be stagnant and your goals may seem far away and almost unreachable. Confidence is not some tangible helmet to clamp onto your head nor does it materialize out of back-to-back successes, it’s actually the state of mind that allows you to push through the difficult days to reap the rewards of your effort.

That being said, it is commendable to write your goals down because once they’re in writing, your ambitions will become more solidified. When you’re writing down your goals, make sure to jot down the steps and the technicalities that go into achieving that particular goal. 

Don’t just write, “I’d like to get better at Math”, instead write about the resources you’ll utilize to understand which topics you need assistance in, plan to ask your teacher for extra help when you cannot wrap your mind around a sum, and reach out to a tutor for one-on-one coaching for specific areas.

Planning your goals’ progress is as significant as executing the plan. A flimsy plan will not pave the way to favourable results.  It’s the same way with life. You make way for improvement, and life will make way for you. A new you won’t suddenly emerge on the first day at your new school, rather it exists all along within you waiting for your permission to be. 

This school year, be kind to yourself and others. Try to join more sports, maybe pick up that hobby that’s been on your mind for ages, block out study times during the day, and be present in your life.